How to manage yourself and your relationships

Emotional intelligence, is a key area in personal and professional development and has been a key component in the way many companies develop their leaders for over 20 years.  But not all companies are giving emotional intelligence the attention it deserves.

In this article, I explain what emotional intelligence is and how it can help to foster richer and more fulfilling relationships both at work and at home.

Do you wish you were better equipped to motivate and support your team or your loved ones? Do you find yourself confused by the way people react to the things that you say or do, in the workplace or at home? Improving your understanding and application of ‘emotional intelligence’ will allow you to make significant progress on these areas.

Emotional Intelligence covers 5 separate elements:


Self-awareness helps people to make an accurate self-assessment which in turn leads to greater self-confidence. In other words, it is about knowing your emotions, your personal strengths and weaknesses, and having a strong sense of your own worth. It also makes you more aware of people around you and helps you to understand their emotions.


Being able to choose how you feel by controlling your emotions is key to building and maintaining strong relationships. It gives you the ability to identify which specific emotions you are feeling or someone else is feeling. It can help you to communicate clearly and directly, even when you’re feeling awkward. For example, when you need to explain to someone why you’ve decided not to promote them or give them a specific project. It means you no longer need to avoid these situations, you can hit them head on in an appropriate manner.


People are drawn to empathy. It’s an attractive quality to have in building successful relationships at work. In fact, research has shown that empathy is the number one driver of overall organisational performance. Who knew? A high-performing team that displays empathy does so from having nurtured strong personal relationships alongside collaboration. They’ll think about their colleagues’ circumstances, understand their challenges and frustrations, and know that those emotions are every bit as real as their own. This helps develop perspective, and opens team members to helping each other.

Social Skills

The term ‘social skills’ covers a wide variety of skills and competencies, many of which are rooted in self-esteem and personal confidence.  By developing your social skills, being easy to talk to, being a good listener, being sharing and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and attractive to others.

This improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for positive personal communication and a greater understanding and acceptance of your own emotions.


Self-motivation is the personal drive to improve and achieve. It’s your commitment to your goals, the initiative to seek out and seize opportunities, and an optimistic and empowered outlook. Time management and clear, achievable goals are key to self-motivation.  Do not make unreasonable demands on yourself, learn to prioritise and be assertive rather than just saying ‘yes’ to the demands of others.

Most importantly, emotional intelligence can be taught and learnt. For information on how I can help you to master these fundamental skills and take control of your destiny, get in touch on

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